|
Over these past 24 years, we have seen many churches start single adult ministries, or at least a singles' Bible study class or cell group. Unfortunately, the majority of churches today still don't have any intentional programming designed to meet the needs of single adults. Several reasons factor into this one-dimensional approach to ministry.
We have a couple-oriented mindset. Many in the church still believe the negative stereotype that singles are not mature or responsible adults. Something must be wrong with them because they are not married, or something is wrong with them because they are divorced.
Maturity has more to do with your personality than your marital status. Yes, there are immature single adults, but there are also immature married adults. In developing church programming, do not exclude single adults based on the assumption they cannot handle responsibility.
Many churches and church members possess a matchmaker mentality. It goes back to the couple-oriented mindset that believes an individual cannot really be happy unless he or she is married or at least involved in a dating relationship. This puts undue pressure on single adults to be paired up with someone.
Many singles would rather not come to church and feel like they are less of a person because they do not have that "special someone " in their lives right now. The impressions of most church singles programs are that they are a place to meet someone to date.
Now, church is a wonderful place to develop and cultivate relationships, both platonic and romantic, but the focus of a ministry is not to match you up with someone. The church and single adults need to come to terms with the fact that being single is not something that has to be fixed. Church programming should offer relationship-building classes, divorce recovery workshops and social events that all encourage the development of healthy relationships.
The idea is that if/when someone does marry, he or she marries the right person for the right reasons and is equipped to stay married. The ultimate goal is not to play matchmaker, but to invest in singles' spiritual growth as they seek to become part of the church body.
This misunderstanding has trained singles to be passive about leading out in ministry in their local church. Many single adults have been convinced that life does not really begin until one is married, so they are focused on finding a mate to become part of the mainstream. In actuality, single adults are the mainstream. Depending on what statistical data you are looking at, single adults measure up to 50 percent of the adult population.
Whether your singleness is for a season or for a lifetime, God has a purpose in it, and He wants to use your availability, gifts and talents to serve Him. There are thousands of single adults throughout history who have given their lives in God's service. Too many Christian singles are sitting on the sidelines of church involvement. Don't wait until you're married or asked to serve in the church to get involved. Be proactive and pray about what God would have you do.
The focus of a single adult program will point single adults toward being fully devoted followers of Jesus Christ as they participate in the life of their local church. Let's help the congregations of our churches understand that single adults are in our families, jobs and communities--they also want to be part of our church.
|